HEN thieves are not in jail they are always looking over the shoulders just in case someone wants to nab them.
They are never at peace.
But once in a while there comes a thief who doesn’t give a hoot about the police or the people he fleeced.
In Lesotho we have one such cheat who has been living blissfully despite having stolen M300 million from half a million people.
His name is Simon Thebe-ea-Khale, the crook who pulled what is probably the biggest swindle in southern Africa through that wretched Ponzi scheme called MKM.
Scrutator has always thought that when you carry out a con of that magnitude you must show some shame by disappearing from the glare of your victims.
But Simon is not one to be troubled by the misery of his victims.
So, there he was about town in a chauffeur-driven sedan the other day.
The chubby one dragged himself out of the car with a struggle and strode down the street with an arrogant spring in his step.
Along the way he met people who seemed happy to see him.
Scrutator watched in disgust as people scrambled to shake his hand.
It did not matter that this was the man who owes almost every family in our country.
To understand why Thebe-ea-Khale has not gone into hiding you have to appreciate how our society works and the spin it has put on his heinous deeds.
Gossip, cheap talk and myths are what fuels our society.
The rumour is that Thebe-ea-Khale’s MKM was closed by some jealous government people.
Never mind that the court ruled that the company was illegal.
The cheap talk is that the government is going to bail out MKM come rain or sunshine.
The myth is that it is possible to resuscitate MKM.
The gossip, cheap talk and myths are all sustained by ignorance, a pervasive disease in our country.
Thebe-ea-Khale has mastered the art of using this national plague of ignorance to his full advantage.
“Were it not for the cruel government you people would be millionaires by now,” he says to the people he fleeced into poverty.
The people nod with enthusiasm and then look to the government for a bailout.
Ignorance is what makes the people chase the government for a bailout when the man to whom they willingly handed their monies is living in opulence.
he sad part of it all is that such ignorance always finds prominent purveyors.
Libe Moremoholo is the man at the forefront of the campaign to exonerate Thebe-ea-Khale while trying to strong-arm the government to bail out an illegal institution.
Last week Moremoholo dispatched a silly missive to Prime Minister Tom Thabane to remind him that MKM investors are still waiting for assistance from government.
As Scrutator read the letter she became convinced that the dislocation between Libe’s brain and mouth is irreparable.
The prime minister is yet to tell Moremoho to go tell his story to the mountain but Scrutator thinks he will do just that as soon as he realises that there is a “short” in the circuit between the former MP’s brain and mouth.
Why should Thabane tell Libe to go hang, you may ask.
The answer is as clear as a pig’s behind.
There is no doubt that what happened in MKM was horrible but we should not be blinded to the fact that the remedy Libe is suggesting is utter rubbish.
You see, a bailout in business is not an act of human compassion.
You can only bail out a company in which you are going to have a stake or recover your money in future.
That means the company you are bailing out must be worth something or at least be capable of surviving so that it repays the loan.
How this simple logic has escaped Libe, a man who spent five years in parliament, is shocking.
You don’t need to have passed Matric with flying colours to know that MKM is as dead as a dodo.
It is beyond redemption.
Even if the government pours zillions into it and then remove that con artiste called Thebe-ea-Khale MKM will remain dead.
That is because it was based on a thieving model that meant it could only survive for as long as Thebe-ea-Khale got more people to surrender their monies.
As the number of willing victims dried up MKM was going to collapse sooner rather than later.
It was neither a bank nor an insurance company as some people want to call it.
To call MKM a business is to be overly charitable.
It is such sad sight to watch a whole man like Libe flogging a dead donkey with gusto.
Libe and his cahoots are asking the government to pour taxpayer’s monies into a bottomless pit.
They want the government to sustain a criminal scheme on the sole basis that it affected many people.
If that is not nonsense then Scrutator doesn’t know what it is.
Any bailout of MKM will be an act of robbery.
Scrutator is rubbing her hands with glee for the day anyone in the new government will agree to empty the treasury just to please people like Libe.
oliticians are indeed a very funny breed.
They have this nauseating habit of casting their message to suit a particular audience, depending on the audience’s level of sophistication.
When addressing villagers in Leribe they give them what they think they want to hear.
The idea is to tickle the ears of the electorate even when they don’t mean what they say.
So Scrutator honestly hopes and pray that Ntate Thabane did not mean what he said when he was on his three-day state visit in Harare recently.
For those who missed the juicy copy, the premier is said to have lavished effusive praise on that political dinosaur north of the Limpopo, Robert Mugabe.
He described him as one of the greatest Pan-Africanists in the same mould as Kwame Nkrumah, Julius Nyerere and many others.
Thabane’s sweet words could have been correct had they been spoken in the 1980s.
But since 2000 Mugabe has lynched opponents, hammered the economy and watched while his friends loot with zest.
The result is that the country has no currency of its own, its people have fled and starvation looms for those that dare to remain.
Thabane missed a glorious opportunity to tell that old ramshackle of a man in his face that his time was up.
The crisis in Zimbabwe had nothing to do with a “black versus white” thing.
The problem instead is of an old man who refuses to discern that his time is up.
here was a time when men in our country used to pee in alleys and behind trees.
But recently Scrutator has noticed that more and more men are now emptying their bladders right in public.
For months she wondered why they have suddenly thrown caution to the wind. Then after a thorough observation she finally came up with a theory to explain this phenomenon.
It seems that men who like to pee in very public places are not that “gifted” (Close your mouth, Scrutator is still talking).
There seems to be a link between “their size” and a penchant for dangling out their things in public.
The smaller it is the more they are likely to want to show it off.
They are always itching to be “pressed” so that they can just pull it out right in the middle of the street.
It’s the same with money: people who like flaunting it have very little of it.
When you see a man with a wallet full of notes just know that it is probably all he has to his name at that moment.
The link between the flaunting of cash by the poor and the flaunting of “things” by less gifted men is compensatory behaviour.
So the next time you see a man peeing in front of people know that he is trying to enhance the little he has.
Just laugh at him until he puts that little thing where it belongs then walk away as fast as you can.
inally, spring is here and we women are going to be wearing shorter things.
You can be sure that the riff-raff men from the bus stop area are going to start their monkeyshines when they see women in miniskirts.
They will whistle, scream and harass them.
When they are asked why they do such things they will hide behind something they call “culture” as if our culture prohibits women from wearing shorter things.
The truth however is that they are just pathetic bullies who were specialising in pelting teachers with stones when others were going to school.
Scrutator will not be tolerating such high-jinks from any men this summer.
Women must dress as they wish.
If men feel offended then they must come to town in underwears and see if women care.
Or if they think underwears are not their “style” they can find another country or planet on which to live.
This is our time.
All the talk about August having been the women’s month is crap because this a women’s century.
This is the century when men are going to wish they wore skirts.
Those that still see women as second class citizens are as old fashioned as the petticoat.
To our cause, they are as useless asFacebook friends.