Mediocrity award nominees 2012
By Scrutator
| A |
man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife nude on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack sweetie,” cries the wife.
He rushes downstairs to call an ambulance but just as he’s dialling his four-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he’s naked!”
The man slams the phone down and rushes upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother totally undressed and cowering on the closet floor. “You bastard,” the man says,” my wife is having a heart attack and you’re hiding in the closet nude. You are an irresponsible brother. You coward!’’ he says.
You just laughed, right!
They say laughter is the best medicine.
| T |
o laugh we need foolish men like the one in the story above.
But while we laugh we also learn crucial lessons of life. We laugh at and learn from those who we think are fools.
Scrutator has always believed that a country without fools is doomed to fail.
In the same vein, a country that does not learn from its fools is headed nowhere.
Luckily in Lesotho we have lots of such souls at whom we laugh and from whom we learn.
That is why every December Scrutator takes time to carefully select institutions or people who deserve her coveted Mediocrity Gong Award. To make it to this list of esteemed nominees a person or institution must do something special.
I mean “special” in the sense of something particularly pathetic, inane, daft or silly.
Their only solace is that their actions never go to waste for they provide the nation with something to laugh at and learn from.
They are useful in their own unique way.
If you haven’t made it to this year’s list just know that you haven’t worked hard enough. The idea is to strive to do better next year.
Remember your primary school teacher’s words: “Try, try, try again. If you fail, try again”. That is the spirit you need to be nominated for these important awards. Now let’s get to the nominees.
| P |
ut your hands together for former Prime Minister Pakalitha Mosisili who was hoist by his own petard on May 26.
One day he was the most powerful man in government and the next he was just a mere backbencher waiting to say “I” in parliament.
The man had worked hard to destroy his own party by anointing a bearded disciple whose only claim to fame is his snobbish English accent. When the comrades in the Lesotho Congress for Democracy (LCD) stood their ground he was influenced by his disciple to jump ship.
His Democratic Congress (DC) found itself in power without receiving a single vote from the people.
“Yours truly will win the next election,” he said arrogantly.
He won the election but failed to make the majority needed to form the government.
In the end he packed his bags from State House his home over the past 15 years.
It would have been enough if the man had zipped his mouth while he licked his wounds.
But the man just didn’t know when to shut up. He went around the country claiming that the DC should have been in power and telling us that we should ululate because he left office.
Luckily while he was saying that nonsense Basotho had moved on to more productive discussions.
Scrutator has however noticed that the former prime minister has since calmed down and he is now talking sense.
That has helped the country but it won’t help him avoid nomination for these popular awards.
| N |
ext on the list is the DC. Now, this one is a serious fraud. It sneaked into power through the backdoor and even tried to hang on after failing to get a majority.
The DC is a party with lots of supporters but very few strategic friends. That is precisely because it is full of egocentric characters who think everyone else is inferior.
Little wonder it could not get a measly 13 seats it needed to form a government.
It was such a sad scenario to watch a whole ruling party scrounging around for seats after May 26.
In the end reality dawned on its leaders and they threw in the towel.
Basotho were happy and DC supporters bitter. And they are still bitter. It would be scandalous to exclude the DC from this list.
The party is now belatedly trying to be a useful opposition. That is good. Thank God for whoever told them to put their bottoms down and start the business of pretending to be mature.
| T |
he Lesotho Correctional Service is either the most incompetent department in this country or just corrupted.
A whole department could not secure a small man like Scott. Instead of hanging their heads in shame after Scott’s escape the authorities at the department started selling us some pathetic story about how he had used Vaseline to break out of jail.
Months after Scott’s bizarre escape the LCS is yet to tell us what really happened.
It has not even apologised to the nation for bungling a simple job like keeping a tiny murder suspect under lock and key.
Let’s hope the next we hear another word from the department it will be to announce who let Scott out of jail not some ridiculous stories about Vaseline.
Until they can tell us the truth they must just zip it and try to stop those they have in their custody from escaping using Vaseline.
| I |
t would not be fair to omit the DC youth league member who lost M60 000 to con artists who promised to make him a filthy rich man.
For his love of money he was swindled of his savings.
He fell prey to a trick older than him.
Instead of hiding in shame he started screaming above his voice.
That didn’t change that he had been left M60 000 poorer by people he thought were fools. Litjobo can shout all he wants but the fact that he got what he deserved will not change.
| T |
he LCD deserves to be on the list for “graduating” from a ruling party to a junior partner in a threesome coalition.
It’s telling that a whole ruling party could not survive the petty egos of its leaders.
No wonder why it needs the help of two other parties to run the country.
The Basotho National Party cannot escape nomination.
Despite its noise during the campaign it failed to win a single seat under the First Past the Post system. It is only in parliament because of compensatory seats. The BNP has clearly shown that it is unelectable.
Which leads Scrutator to ask what smart young men like Joang Molapo are doing in that party?
Finally, Scrutator would state it clearly that there is no way she was going to avoid nominating all those small political parties that failed to win a thing during the election.
When you give your party funny names you deserve to be the butt of hilarious jokes. Let’s laugh all the way into 2013.
Ache!
scrutator29@gmail.com
Comment by Koatake on 6 December 2012:
What the careful selection.
Comment by nthabeleng on 6 December 2012:
ke qaboloa ke moo u reng The BNP has clearly shown that it is unelectable.chehe!!!
Comment by phakelasonds on 6 December 2012:
my wife is having a heart attack and you’re hiding in the closet nude. hele!!
Comment by Ronaldo on 6 December 2012:
I think it is wrong that Tommy was not nominated as he did not live up to his promises from the first day in office. Do you still remember when he said that he was talking nonsense, only to unseat Mccd?
Comment by Bobete on 6 December 2012:
And the list goes on. What about the Police who messed up with Mahaletere’s case, factory workers’ 2020 demand etc. I wish you can keep on nominating others worthy of the awards. This should urge them to introspect and not repeat the same mistakes.
A foolish man indeed, a pathetic soul, his wife is screwed and he cannot see that. May be he is too trusting, and thats one thing that as a nation we need to look into seriously.
Comment by Marathon on 6 December 2012:
Objection my Lord!
I would like to know the manner or criteria used to nominate the nominees because I find it strange that the following are left out in the list of nominees:
1. Justice Semapo Peete for controversially releasing Hoohlo an act that reversed the decision of Justice ‘Maseforo Mahase…too much power corrupts.
Sera sa Basotho ke bobolu, ‘me sera sena se bonahetse se runya haholo nakong ea puso ea LCD…WHERE THE GOVERNMENT AT THAT TIME CRIPPLED EVERY SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY ESPECIALY THE JUDICIARY FOR THE BENEFIT OF MINORITY AT THE EXPENSE OF MAJORITY.
What does this story of clashing judges tells us for those who still believe in the legal and justice system in this country?
Comment by Linono on 6 December 2012:
Ke bolaoa ke snobbish english accent, ooeee, che Ntate o ipolaile ka Mahaletere.
Comment by Jail Breaker on 6 December 2012:
Tommy! He stood up in 1998 while Mccd crouched in the closeT
Comment by Selai Lai on 6 December 2012:
“Basotho were happy and DC supporters bitter.” Aren’t DC supporters Basotho?
Comment by Ntsane on 6 December 2012:
Oa bona ha ele ena ea vaseline taba eona!!! Khilik!! ba ne ba kanna ba itlontlolla ka stupid reasons empa e seng ka mokhoa oona. le bana ba 10 years never reason like this. Vaseline!!!!
Comment by LEKHOARA on 6 December 2012:
@Ntsane, yes ofcourse Scott “Vaselined” himself out of prison…lol…tltltltlt
Comment by Sdudla on 6 December 2012:
MoAfrika fm eona o siielang ka ho thola tuu ka taba ea Santaoana ea alleged rape. Hakeso e bone nthoe joale in the proffnal media.
Le eena Santaoana ka ho ikana ka ho ntsha boloi, athe o ntsa nanarela bana ba rona. Seeeee
Comment by David on 6 December 2012:
wtf
how de hell do u nominate?
Comment by Ntsane on 6 December 2012:
@LEKHOABA,Yaa nee!! vaseline megic. i guess from now on vaseline price will just shoot up due to high demand unless the manufacturers increase thier production by a particular factor. LOL!
Comment by Cheetah on 6 December 2012:
Ao Sdudla ua bua ka ho thola ka santaoana,ka scott e kile ea reng Moafrika empa re tseba hothoe ke qhooa eo ho hoelehetsoang ho eona!e thotse tuu!e felile nthoane ea hore ke beke ea bokae kae seretli sa koalabata se sa tsoaroe,le ba molokolotseng ba sa tsoaroe.
Comment by livoski on 7 December 2012:
Siverts should top the list. She has managed to ruin a 100 year old university in 2 years!
Comment by likoankoara on 7 December 2012:
Bathong le sietseng Commissioner ea likoporasi? ore o etsa fefenene moo a sebetsang.
Comment by Mochafo on 10 December 2012:
le sielanang Moeta pele oa BNP eo ereng leha a sa ntsa fuoe botona ka ntsoepelele a neng a re eena hase motho oa maeto a kantle empa hona joale a sitoang feela le ho qeta beke tse peli pela a palama nonyana ts’epe?
Comment by oa ka mora thaba on 10 December 2012:
hele monna enoa obohlale hee
Comment by Ntja'mme on 10 December 2012:
You may think you are a good writer but my problem is that you are suffering from Mosisili too much and this affects your analysis of our politics.
I am apt to believe that without Mosisili you cannot write anything good. Kea belaela hore you have not gone as far as Honours degree because you would have tried different topics without Mosisili as the center or part of your political analysis.
Wake up and make this paper attractive without Mosisili. You have the capability to do so otherwise you are beginning to be boring. May be its a surprise to you that Mosisili lost power and became normal MP but it should not be so because this is politics. You can request your company to allow you to do political science or any course related to politics so as to make sense of our politics if you want to be a seasoned political analyst.
Comment by Kutlapa on 11 December 2012:
Scru, u r very shallow in politics. That’s why u didn’t see other politicians other than mccd to make a short list. What can u say about the police who failed to throughly to investigate Mahaletere?
Comment by Khomoliaoa on 11 December 2012:
Mediocre? If you looking for another example of mediocre i would point you to the above article of which in my opinion seems to be of way way way way less importance than anything in the world. Congrats to Scrutator for making it onto my list of the most useless people in this country. Go write this useless crap in your diary
Comment by khamapane on 12 December 2012:
Sekurutata ha qete ho pota. tsoelapaele u pote , ke thabela mepoto ena ea hao ea beke le beke moshemane.
Comment by Minder on 28 December 2012:
Allow me to add myself to the list.
I am such a minder, I mind even verry smallest things arround me… It happened that when I was driving my car, I realised a small insect (about 2 cm long (I mean “kokonyana bathong hleng”)). I decided to open the window in an attempt to throw out the insect.
The road was curvegeous *spelling* so in trying to take care of the insect I forgot to concentrate on the road and the car went straight into the farrow. I had to pay close to 8 000 to get it fixed. Just because of a tiny inssect, wow!
Comment by Setono on 17 January 2013:
Kamoli eena le mo sietseng ka ho hlorisa masole le ho ts’osa makhotla?Ho hoholo ke Mosisili.Aku tloheng mona!!!If le felletsoe,just ommit dis Scrutator feature or close the whole paper…Lea bora,neh?