man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife nude on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack sweetie,” cries the wife.
He rushes downstairs to call an ambulance but just as he’s dialling his four-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he’s naked!”
The man slams the phone down and rushes upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother totally undressed and cowering on the closet floor. “You bastard,” the man says,” my wife is having a heart attack and you’re hiding in the closet nude. You are an irresponsible brother. You coward!’’ he says.
You just laughed, right!
They say laughter is the best medicine.
o laugh we need foolish men like the one in the story above.
But while we laugh we also learn crucial lessons of life. We laugh at and learn from those who we think are fools.
Scrutator has always believed that a country without fools is doomed to fail.
In the same vein, a country that does not learn from its fools is headed nowhere.
Luckily in Lesotho we have lots of such souls at whom we laugh and from whom we learn.
That is why every December Scrutator takes time to carefully select institutions or people who deserve her coveted Mediocrity Gong Award. To make it to this list of esteemed nominees a person or institution must do something special.
I mean “special” in the sense of something particularly pathetic, inane, daft or silly.
Their only solace is that their actions never go to waste for they provide the nation with something to laugh at and learn from.
They are useful in their own unique way.
If you haven’t made it to this year’s list just know that you haven’t worked hard enough. The idea is to strive to do better next year.
Remember your primary school teacher’s words: “Try, try, try again. If you fail, try again”. That is the spirit you need to be nominated for these important awards. Now let’s get to the nominees.
ut your hands together for former Prime Minister Pakalitha Mosisili who was hoist by his own petard on May 26.
One day he was the most powerful man in government and the next he was just a mere backbencher waiting to say “I” in parliament.
The man had worked hard to destroy his own party by anointing a bearded disciple whose only claim to fame is his snobbish English accent. When the comrades in the Lesotho Congress for Democracy (LCD) stood their ground he was influenced by his disciple to jump ship.
His Democratic Congress (DC) found itself in power without receiving a single vote from the people.
“Yours truly will win the next election,” he said arrogantly.
He won the election but failed to make the majority needed to form the government.
In the end he packed his bags from State House his home over the past 15 years.
It would have been enough if the man had zipped his mouth while he licked his wounds.
But the man just didn’t know when to shut up. He went around the country claiming that the DC should have been in power and telling us that we should ululate because he left office.
Luckily while he was saying that nonsense Basotho had moved on to more productive discussions.
Scrutator has however noticed that the former prime minister has since calmed down and he is now talking sense.
That has helped the country but it won’t help him avoid nomination for these popular awards.
ext on the list is the DC. Now, this one is a serious fraud. It sneaked into power through the backdoor and even tried to hang on after failing to get a majority.
The DC is a party with lots of supporters but very few strategic friends. That is precisely because it is full of egocentric characters who think everyone else is inferior.
Little wonder it could not get a measly 13 seats it needed to form a government.
It was such a sad scenario to watch a whole ruling party scrounging around for seats after May 26.
In the end reality dawned on its leaders and they threw in the towel.
Basotho were happy and DC supporters bitter. And they are still bitter. It would be scandalous to exclude the DC from this list.
The party is now belatedly trying to be a useful opposition. That is good. Thank God for whoever told them to put their bottoms down and start the business of pretending to be mature.
he Lesotho Correctional Service is either the most incompetent department in this country or just corrupted.
A whole department could not secure a small man like Scott. Instead of hanging their heads in shame after Scott’s escape the authorities at the department started selling us some pathetic story about how he had used Vaseline to break out of jail.
Months after Scott’s bizarre escape the LCS is yet to tell us what really happened.
It has not even apologised to the nation for bungling a simple job like keeping a tiny murder suspect under lock and key.
Let’s hope the next we hear another word from the department it will be to announce who let Scott out of jail not some ridiculous stories about Vaseline.
Until they can tell us the truth they must just zip it and try to stop those they have in their custody from escaping using Vaseline.
t would not be fair to omit the DC youth league member who lost M60 000 to con artists who promised to make him a filthy rich man.
For his love of money he was swindled of his savings.
He fell prey to a trick older than him.
Instead of hiding in shame he started screaming above his voice.
That didn’t change that he had been left M60 000 poorer by people he thought were fools. Litjobo can shout all he wants but the fact that he got what he deserved will not change.
he LCD deserves to be on the list for “graduating” from a ruling party to a junior partner in a threesome coalition.
It’s telling that a whole ruling party could not survive the petty egos of its leaders.
No wonder why it needs the help of two other parties to run the country.
The Basotho National Party cannot escape nomination.
Despite its noise during the campaign it failed to win a single seat under the First Past the Post system. It is only in parliament because of compensatory seats. The BNP has clearly shown that it is unelectable.
Which leads Scrutator to ask what smart young men like Joang Molapo are doing in that party?
Finally, Scrutator would state it clearly that there is no way she was going to avoid nominating all those small political parties that failed to win a thing during the election.
When you give your party funny names you deserve to be the butt of hilarious jokes. Let’s laugh all the way into 2013.