EVER in the history of this country has an election been so uncertain yet so uninspiring.
An election, by its nature, is supposed to be uncertain but never uninspiring.
This election campaign has been obese on hot air and shockingly slender on fundamental issues.
To decipher from the mumbo-jumbo uttered by our politicians what this election is really about you need to be a wizard of repute.
Most of the manifestos, if at all they should be called that, are full of thumb-suck policies and incredible promises to turn Lesotho into a Utopia.
Some of the promises are blatant lies while others are more the result of years of daydreaming than logical thinking.
Still some of the policies are just plain silly.
They are so ridiculous that even Scrutator’s seven-year old niece who believes folklores of trees talking can laugh them off.
Scrutator is not excited about this election and she doesn’t think anyone should be.
That is because the choices we have on Saturday are terrible.
We are being asked to choose MPs from a pathetic lot of politicians.
We are being asked to choose the next government from a bunch of feeble political parties.
Indeed, the options are just appalling.
This election is bringing a bag teeming with no-hopers whose only claim to fame is to have been at the right place at the right time.
If candidates were decided on the basis of acumen, solid policies and integrity very few of those candidates will be contesting in this election.
But because those with good heads over their shoulders have decided to be spectators in the political arena we just have to settle for the second best.
What can we do when a country needs lawmakers and a government?
Our constitution says there are vacancies in parliament and they must be filled.
It says this government’s time is up and we must vote.
So, once again, we have to make do with mediocre politicians and run-of-the-mill parties.
he choices we have! Oh My God! We have the Democratic Congress (DC), a party rich on ego and poor on political substance.
Remove Pakalitha Mosisili from it and you will see how nude the DC is.
It has no legacy of its own.
Most of its policies are a rehash of those of the Lesotho Congress for Democracy (LCD).
With no successes to brag about in this election campaign, the DC has been trying to expropriate the LCD’s legacy as its own.
The hypocrisy of this tactic is astounding.
The reasoning goes like this: We are a splinter party of the LCD that kicked the LCD out of power to continue the LCD’s policies so you must vote for us because we are a continuation of the good things of the LCD. Phew!
It wouldn’t be so embarrassing if that was all the DC is saying but it goes further than just that.
The DC is a garrulous party that has found itself with very little sensible to talk about.
So to make up for the shortage of substantive issues to harp about it invents some incredible stories.
One of them is that whatever went wrong during the past 15 years should be blamed on the LCD as a party and the good things that happened should be credited to Mosisili.
Talk about a desperate attempt by a desperate party to split hairs. Sob, sob, sob . . . somebody pass me a hankie.
nter the LCD, a party which claims to have been rejuvenated and reengineered in just three months.
Nudged out of power by Mosisili, the LCD has come out with guns blazing.
Its campaign strategy has been to wash itself clean of the bad things of Mosisili’s legacy.
It says voters must look at the past 15 years with tinted glasses.
It says forget the corruption, nepotism, tender scandals, border crises, rampant unemployment and poverty of the past 15 years.
It says the same people who were in the LCD government that bungled things with zeal are the messiahs we have been waiting for to take this country to prosperity.
We are told a new era is upon us. Sob, sob, sob . . . where is that hankie again?
Then there is the All Basotho Convention (ABC).
Now this one is a silly imitation of an opposition party.
When it was hurriedly formed in 2006 the ABC had many good things in its favour until its leader decided to surround himself with people who are far less clever than him.
Those that had something substantial between their ears were elbowed to the fringes or frustrated into oblivion.
Every party needs some riffraff because they are the majority of voters but when they start edging towards positions that require brainpower they must be reminded that they are way out of their depth.
The ABC allowed riffraff to climb up the ladder and now their rough edges are cutting it like a wood hacksaw.
The result is a party that has neither a strategy nor a chance to win this election.
The misdirected zeal for power is not backed by well-thought-out policies.
id Scrutator hear someone mention the Basotho National Party (BNP)? Ah, that one.
The last time it had power it bungled with much zest like it was on steroids.
It is because of the BNP’s rule that a navigator is of limited use in this country.
The least I say about the other parties the better.
They are just overrated opportunists bereft of substantial support.
They are political nonentities mudding the political waters.
But even after saying all this Scrutator still believes we must vote.
Better a bad government you have elected than a bad one you haven’t.
George Jean Nathan once said: “Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote”.
Yet after you cast your vote on Saturday you must remember that this life goes on. It has to, whether your party has lost or won.
Don’t take matters to the heart because your destiny is not decided by those in power.
Only you can change your life.
You are actually the one you have been waiting for to change your life.
inally, Scrutator is irritated by some misdirected people who have been trying to uproot her umbilical cord from Qacha’s Nek to some place north of Lesotho.
“Nyoe, nyoe, Scrutator is a Zimbabwean”.
“Nyoe, nyoe she is not a Mosotho”.
Where they get such drivel from, only the purveyors of such mischievous ideas know.
My crime is that I have refused to be domesticated and to accept mediocrity from my countrymen.
My crime is that I write a column read by 95 000 people every week.
If Mugabe’s country wants its own Scrutator it can as well make its own.
This Scrutator of Mafube is not for export.
Until next week, eat your hearts out haters.
Stream to the booths on Saturday and don’t say ache! after voting.