“It is really a miracle how you have managed to be so miserable, so thirsty, when it is raining all over. You have really done the impossible! Everywhere it is light and you live in darkness.” — OSHO
Upon encountering a book called Peace of Mind OSHO, philosopher and writer had the audacity to say this was impossible.
The two, he said, are mutually exclusive; as there can be no peace where the mind exists.
When I take a look at how women’s minds work in general I would have to agree with him.
The past or the future — Our minds are constantly active.
There is a persistent chattering, an inner dialogue that goes on the whole day.
The interesting thing is that most, if not all, of our problems are created, not by events themselves but by what we think about the events.
One woman revealed that she can spend up to two hours on the phone with her friend discussing the hidden meaning behind the behaviour of their respective partners.
It gets protracted because there are various implications and scenarios, all of which they explore in detail.
Furthermore our worries have their basis in the past or in the future.
It’s quite easy for a woman in a relationship to get upset over something that happened a month or even a year ago.
The body then reacts accordingly; blood pressure goes up and tears flow.
Usually, at this point the spouse wishes he was on another planet.
It’s not all bad memories actually, as one can spend an inordinate amount of time daydreaming about a pleasant experience that happened in the past.
Its either that or we are focusing on the future.
Fantasising about a favourable outcome to a situation or worse still, worrying about what could happen.
The problem with doing any of the above is that these musings tend to affect our current decisions and actions.
The grass is greener on the other side — The mind is rarely satisfied with current circumstances.
Wild horses won’t stop a young woman once she sets her mind on getting married — the situation just appears so rosy and welcoming on the other side.
No sooner has the ink dried on the marriage certificate than she realises that marriage is just one of many ways of living one’s life.
The demands and challenges are many as are the joys and celebrations.
Like with many life-changing decisions, such as changing jobs or starting a business, it’s not that easy to jump over the fence again.
The media and advertising industry play on this perception.
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we absolutely can’t live without that new winter coat and yet the truth is that we can.
Oftentimes the inner voice has negative messages.
Such as we are not talented enough or educated enough to do this or the other.
But there is hope at the end of the tunnel.
The decision to step back and watch the mind and its crazy thoughts makes a huge difference because it stops the feeling that we are our thoughts.
Also many spiritual teachers say the only way to quieten the mind or the inner voice is through meditation.
There are a lot of misconceptions regarding meditation and we often think of the extremes.
For example, monks sitting in a certain position with eyes closed for hours or even days.
But on further exploration I picked up on two very straight forward ways of dipping one’s toes into this practice without being radical.
The sound of silence — We are surrounded with so much noise it can be an uncomfortable feeling to read, sit or take a nap without the television or radio on. Notice how sometimes the television remains on, even when no one is watching it.
Relaxing in silence is a good start to breaking out of the comfort zone of always having sound in the background.
Awareness — Focusing on sights, sounds, smells and actions around us can also be a form of subtle meditation.
The mind will find it difficult to wander if your attention is focused on a bee which is collecting nectar from a flower close by.