But you love the dude . . . really?


Steaming It Off

THE ratio of men to women is somewhere in the region of one to five here in our little village.

However, this does not give the male species the right to become the two-timing rascals they have masterfully become.

We all know this is not a new phenomenon and we also know for sure it is not going to end anytime soon — for various reasons.

Some of the reasons truly sadden and some disgust me because we women sell ourselves short and end up looking so desperate.

Let me illustrate with a scenario which most of us are very familiar with.

Nana met up with Wa-aka on one of those beautiful days — the minute their eyes met, they knew they would somehow end up together . . . one way or another, something taken out of a romantic novel (oh, I am pushing it ey).

Anyway, the meeting was quite memorable and remarkable for the two and it held promises of great things to come.

She was taken by his sheer size combined with odd gentleness – a typical gentle giant.

He was fascinated by her beauty and youthful naivety.

Their courting was long-distance thus was rather techno because they hardly saw each other – they communicated via cell phone, e-mail, instant messaging and even video chats.

This seemed to work out just fine because they could open up and talk about different issues on an honest level – or so Nana thought.

Their dialogues varied in essence and content, and soon Nana was hopelessly in love!

When they eventually set up a date to meet and spend some intimate time together, there was really nothing much to write home about but, hey, the heart’s satisfaction is more important than carnal pleasure.

Besides, things like those can always be improved and spiced up. Kapa joang?

Nana and Wa-aka maintained their long-distance shindig quite satisfactorily — or so she thought.

One fateful day she calls Wa-aka with great news: she will be in his neck of woods for a few days.

The reception to this piece of news was rather lukewarm, which should have toggled the siren switch in her head (but no, we all know that love blinds akere! LOL).

When she got to his area, Wa-aka put her on ice for a few days with excuses that he was just so busy (yet she could hear Takalani Sesame playing in the background).

The last straw on this lame horse’s back was when she got a strange call.

On the other side of the line was a woman who introduced herself and started asking some really strange questions about Nana’s connection to Wa-aka.


They had a long discussion in which they found out the guy had been two-timing them — he had lied from day one . . . to both of them!

Heartbroken, Nana asked the other woman to relay a message to Wa-aka: “Karma exists!”

Well, this scenario can play out in any way — there are different endings and it happens all the time.

The excuses we hear are really pathetic and one is that there are just so many women.

Ao Bathong!

Unfortunately, this kind of dung keeps on happening over and over again with us women as the catalysts.

We let it happen. We just roll over and take it!

Why, you ask? Because there are just too few men!

When a guy and a girl meet, and they are interested in each other, the one foremost fact they should discuss in all honesty is each of their relationship status.

This gives each individual the choice to enter into the relationship or back out there and then.

It gives you choice and the best choice is what will make you happy, right?

Unfortunately some of our sisters are just so content with being the other woman because they think it is much easier and convenient.

It is NOT! It complicates a lot of things in your life and for those around you.

Most times the man happens to lie and say he is uninvolved, then when the brown thick stuff gets blown into the air, the Nanas of this world just forgive the idiot and carry on, sometimes with nothing changing — him still having the two of you!

When quizzed on this decision, women usually have the same excuse: “ . . . but I love him.”

OK, that is so very true. You love him, but does he?

If he really does, why aren’t you his exclusive Chiquita? His one and only?

“There are no men around.”

Well, that is semi-true, but what is wrong with chilling a bit until you find one that is yours?

Why settle for someone else’s crumbs?

Besides, God would not have sent you to this world if He did not love you, so now love yourself.

This covers sneaking around with married men and telling yourself that there is nothing or no one else you can do.

What? You are a home-wrecker that is what you are doing.

As I always say, I am not preaching, but I am sick and tired of the whines I hear — left, right and centre – about two-timing rascals and women who let them.

Look, there is nothing wrong ho shaea ka stene but really now, no matter how much there is a so-called shortage out there, there are actually some fine brothers waiting for you — unattached!



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