Don’t blame it on the alcohol

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Yours truly had a hearty laugh this week when he read about the US man who was arrested at a grocery store after workers found him at a table in the deli, eating avocados, cake and other items. Police said the 38-year-old man was intoxicated and had a hearty spread, including cake, cookies and plums, in the deli area of the shop.

It reminded Bacchus of his days at university, when young men would hide behind beer in order to do the craziest things.

During one students’ strike, campus security set their dog on the crowd of students. Problem was the pooch was rather friendly – in fact harmless. When the students realised this, they decided he would be their pet for the day.

As the day wore on, drinks inevitably crept into the strike. Bacchus remembers one “drunken” student even carried the dog on his back like mothers carry their beloved tots around town. How miffed those security guards were on that day.

Or take for example this lad who had his eyes on a particularly fine young lady. In this case the problem was the young lady had her eyes on someone else, so she did not give our lad a second look.

The young man was not pleased but there was obviously nothing he could do – yet.

 Then one day, his chance came. After a student gig, our lad was spotted making his way to the girls’ hostel. He got into the room which the object of his desire shared with three other girls.

 Bacchus was not there to witness the spectacle, but it is claimed that the young man – in full view of the four girls – proceeded to lower his pants and defecate on the young lady’s bed. The frightened ladies could do nothing to stop him while he piled it up high.

Upon finishing, the inebriated fella decided to take a nap on the next bed. The young lady seized the chance to fetch her boyfriend from his room.

The boyfriend was a rather beefy fellow and the drunk lad got a thorough beating for his sins. And the poor lad ended up washing the blankets and sheets for all the ladies in that room.

The moral? When someone does something crazy in a drunken state, they probably thought about doing it while they were sober.

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