I have just realised I am at the epitome of my so-called depression!
Seems when you are at this stage you get tired of being so smiley and “alright”.
You want to answer the question “ho joang?” (How are you?) as honestly as you want!
You want to rant and rave, cry and throw a tantrum, but more than anything you want to beat most people around you to a pulp: especially the ones who ask you that dreaded question “ho joang?”.
Feeling “blue” from time to time is a normal thing, it is expected that one can feel a bout of emptiness and deep despair on occasion; but when these feelings of worthlessness and desolation are constant and prolonged this can be very harmful.
Depression is defined as a state of sadness and low spirits.
This state of mind can be very dangerous to the depressed person’s health and those around them.
We all go through some mood ups and downs because of life’s setbacks, disappointments and struggles; and these can cause normal sadness or manifest the feelings into something darker.
However, some depressed people do not feel sad at all — they may feel lifeless, empty and lethargic and for some people apparently irritated, they feel aggressive and agitated.
There are many symptoms which can show you the next person is depressed, but do not get it twisted and go around diagnosing people — you will get pummelled!
There are people who have done some really nasty things to themselves and those around them all in the name of depression.
I am not trying to belittle this condition, I am a sufferer too, remember?
OK, so enough with the psycho-babble, let us get to the core issue here.
Depression is bad for your health and the best thing you can do for yourself is to get help.
Rich words coming from me, you would say – but that is real talk.
Well, if you cannot afford professional help – like me – your best bet is to try to talk with someone you consider close; someone who will listen, and not necessarily someone who can do something about your problems, but who will listen – and hopefully someone who will not laugh at some of the silly stuff you will spew!
On a serious note though, talking is like shedding some weight that you are carrying on your shoulders.
Yeah, yeah, it will not fix any of your problems, but that weight will decrease, meaning you might be on the way to recovery from your depression.
I love talking, not just because I adore the sound of my voice; but because most times, when I voice out my worries, my fears, my qualms and misgivings, I end up realising that some of them are really petty and I am giving them too much space and time in my head and life.
My point is we preoccupy ourselves with the little things, we pile them in our minds, and when they are all condensed we magnify them and turn them real —yet they are so insignificant.
So, when you actually put them in words you find that out of the 10 things that have been weighing heavily in your heart and depressing you, only two are real issues, the rest are trivial matters.
When I say I am at the epitome of my depression, I swear I am not suicidal or anything close to that!
I am just abiding myself to the adage “the first step to recovery, is acceptance” and since I have tried a number of tricks so far, especially that of spilling my guts to close friends (forgot to mention that even a stranger can be a good sounding board — I have tried it — it works!) and have weeded out the insignificant issues I am left with the bigger problems.
The type that need serious assistance, from the big guns!
So there, this is me breaking the silence and I am sure by doing this I am opening doors for so many other people out there!
Especially those who are suffering badly, those who really need an ear, a shoulder to lean on.
I am talking about those out there who feel like the world has nothing to offer, that the only solution is to put an end to their existence.
With the credit crunch and so many diseases in our world, there are so many people from various walks of life who are very depressed — in different age groups, and from different backgrounds, etc.
The one thing we can do as a civil duty to our fellow homo-sapiens is to be more open and understanding.
Let us not take anyone for granted —they might be suffering, so do not add to their pain because you just might be the last straw and the back that breaks would be that person’s life.
May the souls of all those whose lives were ended by their own hands rest in peace!
If only you could have told us, if only you could have shed some of the weight.