Just give your lawyer a loti

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So we have bullies in parliament.
I hear one of them was threatening to re-arrange someone’s dental make-up at a meeting last Thursday to discuss the alleged block farming scandal.
The other one was so enraged he actually wanted to beat up a colleague who had merely shown his face at the meeting.
And a couple of them were angry that a minister had been invited to the indaba without their knowledge.
Can someone please find these MPs something useful to do with their anger before they hurt each other?
Should this not be the same anger they must exude when the government pushes laws like the draconian Public Meetings and Processions Bill?
This week a whole committee of 18 MPs said the Bill was just fine.
I was embarrassed.
How can a Bill that says people must put an application to have a protest or public meeting be fine?
But who can blame our MPs when they are hostile to reading.
Remember these were the same MPs who literally “discovered” some dangerous clauses in the controversial Land Bill.
In fact, some of them only discovered that there was a Bill like that when they read about it in the papers.
I am told some of them actually vouched that that Bill had been discussed in South Africa’s parliament and not Lesotho’s august house.
I can bet my last loti if you want to hide anything from an MP just call it an “amendment”, “Act” or “Bill”.
Some of our MPs will cringe at the sight of the printed word.
And I know most of them have never read anything in years apart from the maloti encryption on our currency.
After all that is why they are in parly in the first place.

The last time Scrutator checked the dictionary, the word “dormant” meant inactive, although being capable of being active.
Imagine my surprise therefore when I saw this “catchy” headline in the Public Lie: “Education sector dormant after Budget”.
I simply had to read how Finance Minister Timothy Thahane had managed to leave an entire sector in a state of sleep with a single stroke of his pen.
The story was in fact about how the education sector had joined the growing chorus of criticism of the 2010/2011 budget.
If you have joined a growing chorus, then you’re far from dormant.
As if this was not enough, my heart skipped a beat when I saw a story headlined “SADC Troika abandons Basotho” in the same paper.
The first paragraph convinced me that the cowards at SADC had performed a Houdini on Lesotho.
Just as I was about to curse the scoundrels for abandoning their own African brothers, I was surprised to read in the story that the troika had called for a local solution to the squabbles.
In fact they had appointed facilitators to assist in the Christian Council of Lesotho’s stalled efforts and had pledged to mobilise financial resources to ensure the success of the whole project.
Those that created the word “baloney” must be envious.

Are we such a litigious people that even those with no reputation to protect busy our courts with suits?
Or our lawyers are so cheap so much so that even those fleeing from money-lending clubs can afford to file civil cases?
Give a lawyer a loti and they jump with astounding vim.
One day, when I have little money to spare, I will hire a personal lawyer to issue summons to any boy who gives me those wicked and lustful looks.
If our lawyers were not so cheap then one ex-convict and a failed politician would not be inundating the High Court with application after application over a bare-bone business.
By the way, Scrutator is still waiting for court summons after “Too-Low” threatened to take her to the cleaners for exposing him for the media bumpkin that he is.
He said within seven days the lawsuit should be on my desk. I am still waiting.
I hope I won’t be “waiting for godot” because that would really irritate me.
Scrutator is itching to appear in court against “Too-low”.
Only God knows how long I have waited for what would be an historic court appearance.
My ambition has always been to embarrass these overrated advocates of ours in court.
Finally my day has come. Maybe.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
And guess what, I will get to cut to size two lawyers in one court because an advocate will be representing an advocate.
What a debut that will be!
In the meantime, “Too-Low” must take it like a mature man.

So what is Scrutator going to say in her momentous court appearance?
Well, the truth. Nothing else but the truth.
I will tell the court that all I said about the lousy appellant was true and I will prove it with facts and figures.
I the daughter of ‘MaScrutator from QN owe hundreds of thousands of friends, relatives, enemies, capitalists and communists but not once did it occur to me that I could just turn my back on them and disappear.
Yet the appellant did just that to a poor workers’ society at one company.
Scrutator hates all employers, including her current one, but she has never skipped her company loan repayment.
Why then should the appellant get away with such a nefarious deed and still claim to have a reputation?
The wise were correct to say the truth hurts.
I am no law fundie but I happen to know this case is mine to win.
So bring it on.
Until then, please keep the summons coming.

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