JZ’s zipper malfunctions again

16

IF you want to see the largest number of pregnant children in one place, go to the National University of Lesotho (NUL).
The last time Scrutator visited the Roma campus she was shocked to see over a dozen book-clutching teenagers with very big bellies.
I have never seen so many pregnant children in one place at the same time.
It was so bizarre to enter the college and be greeted by many huge bellies that I had to reverse to the main gate to check if I had not entered Queen Elizabeth II Hospital’s maternity wing.
This varsity of ours has become a baby factory of some sort.
A few months from now, NUL authorities might have to set up a mobile labour unit in anticipation of a baby boom.
I wasn’t there when it happened but I know when and how so many sisters at the highest school came to have such big bellies.
Will anyone challenge me if I say those babies were conceived on or around September 25 — last year’s graduation day?
On that day many children threw caution to the wind and ate the forbidden fruit.
It is clear that some students at NUL were more excited about the graduation ceremony than those who were graduating.
Those children clearly celebrated other people’s graduation in style.
And because of their recklessness some of them will graduate early this year with degrees in motherhood.
Scrutator is pissed off by this behaviour.
Should we also point a finger at Manpower for the baby boom?
I reckon when the babies are delivered we will have some weird names to commemorate the occasion of their conception.
So how about giving the children names like Honours, Bachelors, Masters, PHD, Gown, Hood and Capped?
Some memories are worth keeping forever.
But NUL students are not in this alone.
Across the border a president of a whole country is behaving just like them.
News this week that Jacob Zuma had fathered another baby out of wedlock just goes to show how impossible it is to teach some people to use a condom.
Zuma’s case is actually pathetic because this is not the first time that he has shown his hostility to protected sex.
Remember the shower power fiasco?
In 2006 he admitted that he had not used a condom during sexual intercourse with a close family friend who was HIV-positive.
Just last December he was talking about the need for responsible sexual behaviour in the fight against Aids.
Little did we know a few weeks before that speech he had witnessed the results of his unprotected sex — a bouncing baby girl.
Zuma simply can’t tame his libido.
What makes the whole wildness even sadder is his “catchment” area.
Scrutator’s free advice to close friends of the Zumas – like Irvine Khoza: get your daughters to wear “chastity” belts when they are anywhere near the president.
Don’t say you haven’t been warned, because Msholozi’s “machine gun” is always firing — recklessly.
I had anticipated that the usual zealots would jump to his defence.
And they sure did — with shocking gusto.
“It’s cultural.”
“It’s his private business.”
“His detractors are out to get him.”
One, there is nothing cultural about fornication.
Two, there is nothing private about the country’s Number One public official whose latest offspring will be funded by taxpayers.
Three, the president’s security leaves a lot to be desired if they could leave his enemies forcing him to sleep with a woman.
But, on another note, JZ is a strong man indeed.
Remember he has four other wives to take care of.
What concoction are they giving the first citizen in KZN?
Makers of Viagra, don’t say I didn’t give you a tip. 
There is a weird group in academia that has a disgusting habit of tampering with historical facts.
This group wants to revise history and project a false image of what really happened.
These revisionists are at pains to paint the late Leabua Jonathan as a saint when in reality he was just a ruthless and an unabashed dictator.
But the revisionists want us to believe that Jonathan was a benevolent despot.
My foot!
When the man lost elections in 1970, he simply refused to hand over power.
His regime was a murderous one that sent thousands of our sharpest brains fleeing across our borders into exile.
He also suspended the constitution, declared a state of emergency and jailed political opponents and threw the keys away into Mohokare River.
I am sure it was a case of déjà vu when the army, fed up with his misrule, kicked him out on January 20 1986.
We have not forgotten that Jonathan held on to power for close to 16 years without the consent of the governed.
Now, the professor wants us to revise our understanding of that sad part of our history by painting him a saint.
Holy dung!
Was it a case of selective amnesia on the part of the professor?
This white-washed version of history will not wash, prof.
The late Jonathan’s regime was, simply put, a diabolic and murderous regime that sought to retain power without the blessing of the people.
Please do not go to ridiculous lengths to rewrite our history.
Some of us have no intentions of going back to that brutal past.
Why the professor refers to North Korea, the defunct Soviet Union and Cuba in glowing terms also beggars questions.
Anybody who yearns to go back to the old authoritarian days of the Soviet Union must either be crazy or hopelessly out of touch with modern realities or both.
When you have a situation where judges and lawyers cannot talk to each other in a civil manner, then it should be clear that the whole system needs to be fixed and fixed urgently.
This is not the time to stoke the fires of conflict, Mr President.
We have heard enough of this war talk already.

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