WHAT do you call a man who, when he is paid to do nothing, salivates at the sight of skimpily dressed young women?
How about an old man who gets mesmerised when he sees bare-breasted young women?
Dirty old man!
Professor Adelani Ogunrinade, in his own words, is a dirty old man indeed.
Scrutator is among many out there who have been wondering what the good professor has been up to since he was asked not to report for work at the National University of Lesotho (NUL) in August.
Hold your breath: he’s been enjoying watching half-naked girls!
The Nigerian professor, depressed by “unrequited appreciation” in his job, sought to relieve his stress by hiring a car and driving to Swaziland to watch “80 000 virgins dancing almost half-naked”.
Scrutator is curious to know who footed the bills for the jaunt – especially considering that Ogunrinade is getting all his benefits during his suspension.
But let’s start with the juicy part first.
“Why do men (especially older men) find the body of women so titillating? The older they get, the more they get attracted to the younger female-ware,” Ogunrinade wrote in a piece that appeared in Nigeria’s the Guardian.
One question immediately sprang to my mind: how has the professor been coping at NUL where, especially in summer, young women at times wear the tiniest of mini-skirts and hot pants?
How about at cultural events where our young women can go about their business bare-chested?
The good professor is quite attentive to detail, by the way.
“Here is fantasyland — if one saw 80 000 females drawn from various districts of Swaziland, could one even remember one distinguishing feature of one of them in terms of size, shape and volume of the breasts,” wrote Ogunrinade.
“There were so many pear-like, pawpaw-like, the droopy and the golf-shapes with the pin-point head that it must have been a plain headache for His Majesty to choose one virgin from among the many assembled.”
Pitying the king or telling us what really was mesmerising him?
Whatever the case, Ogunrinade surely had a time of his life!
It appears the vice-chancellor is not even losing sleep over the serious embezzlement charges that led to his suspension from NUL.
That’s why, maybe, he has no problems running telephone bills exceeding M20 000 a month.
Maybe most of the airtime was gobbled while he described to friends and relatives alike how he was bowled over by 160 000 naked breasts at the reed dance in Swaziland.
We wonder what else we, the taxpayers, are funding.
The biggest news coming from Mzansi this week was the sacking of Bafana Bafana’s Brazilian gaffer.
End of an error, one South African newspaper summed it up.
Joel Santana does not only leave Bafana Bafana with eight losses out of nine, but he returns to his home country Brazil with a very fat bank account.
Instead of crying over the inevitable termination of his contract, Santana must be singing hallelujah after earning R1.4 million for each of the 17 months he was in charge of Bafana Bafana.
And judging by the results Santana did not do as much as even lift a finger to justify that obscene amount of money.
What Scrutator doesn’t understand is why South Africans are angry that Santana failed to breathe life into Bafana Bafana ahead of next year’s World Cup extravaganza in Mzansi.
Big Nose never claimed he was capable of doing that.
In fact, he never applied for the job and was therefore not interviewed as would happen anywhere else where football is not run by fools.
If anyone is to take the flak it’s the administrators at Safa who like parrots unquestionably took Carlos Alberto Parreira’s word as gospel.
“Santana is the best man to coach South Africa,” Parreira said after walking out on Bafana Bafana a little over a year ago.
“Shantana ish de besht man to coach Shouth Africa,” Safa officials, like parrots, agreed with the Brazilian legend.
And so they got their Santa Claus.
Indeed, with such an outrageous paycheque, it’s been Christmas for Santana every month.
Back in Brazil, I’m sure whenever Santana thinks about South African football one word comes to his mind: fools!
In every country you find these political charlatans who fail to make the transition from student politics to national politics.
This is what is happening across our borders in South Africa.
Recently, I read in horror that deputy minister of police Fikile Mbalula was apparently planning to militarise the police in what would be a return to the 1980s political mayhem.
Mbalula is a garrulous young fellow who rose to infamy as the president of the African National Congress youth league.
He was this year rewarded for his loyalty with a plum job in government as deputy minister of the powerful police ministry.
This was no mean achievement for a 38-year-old former student leader.
But since his appointment earlier this year Mbalula appears too eager to impress his boss.
He recently suggested that the police should be transformed into a paramilitary force ostensibly to fight crime.
Former struggle stalwart Kadal Asmal has branded this proposal “crazy”.
When you militarise an already trigger-happy police force I shudder to think what would happen to ordinary people on the ground.
I do not want to see a return to the crazy 1980s when apartheid police enjoyed mowing down defenceless black activists whose only crime was to demand justice and equality for all.
But then, this is what happens when you entrust policy in the hands of people with a weak intellect.