Paying for porn

25

K

hele!

The shenanigans of our civil servants never cease to amaze Scrutator.

Just when you think you have seen enough of their tomfoolery one of them just cooks up another stinking scandal that leaves your mind boggled.

So hold your noses for Scrutator is about to tell you one such stinking story of a very naughty senior official in the Prime Minister’s office.

Put your hands together for ‘Marapelang Raphuthing, the director of Finance and Administration in Mosisili’s office, who was dismissed last week for corruption and other charges.

Scrutator was about to finish reading Raphuthing’s charge sheet when she came across a charge of an embarrassing nature.

Apart from her corruption charges Raphuthing was found guilty of using a government issued laptop to watch pornographic sites.

Raphuthing routinely accessed the porn sites between 2007 and 2010.

The charge sheet says Raphuthing “accessed” the porn sites on “diverse occasions” while “at work and/or at places unknown” to her supervisors.

So for three years the government paid a senior civil servant whose favourite hobby seems to have been to watch pictures of naked people.

We, the taxpayers, were paying for her internet bundles so she could enjoy her lurid pastime.

Scrutator need not remind you that Raphuthing is not a young woman prone to post-teenage delinquency.

She is a mature woman.

For that reason alone Scrutator is embarrassed on Raphuthing’s behalf.

Her hobby has helped soil her reputation.

Now she will be remembered as the government official who was fired for corruption and watching pornographic material at work.

She will be remembered as the porn-loving finance and administration director.

Let’s hope she is not addicted to the lurid stuff for that would mean disaster, now that she no longer has the free internet service.

In the meantime, sales people at our telecoms companies had better move fast to sell her an internet modem.

She certainly needs the fastest and cheapest internet service on offer.

 

B

ut who in this lethargic civil service of ours would jeer at Raphuthing and condemn her?

We all know that most of our underutilised and underperforming civil servants dabble in nefarious activities using our taxes.

When tired of plundering state resources, gossiping and yawning they start doing “bad things”.

We are paying for their shameful activities.

We are the ones who pay for those air-conditioned offices that some of them have turned into bedrooms.

Only the walls at those offices know the immoral activities that happen in those offices.

We pay for the phones they use to call their boyfriends and girlfriends.

It is us, the taxpayers, who fuel the cars they use to visit their nyatsis.

Some have turned those cars into mobile brothels. Ministers must be warned that when they are busy in their offices the backseats of their cars are being transformed into beds.

Scrutator has watched pitifully as ministers sit comfortably and innocently in their Mercedes Benz cars, oblivious of the fact that those backseats have been routinely violated.

Ministers, your cars have seen more sinister things than you have since you were born.

The comfy backseats of your cars have been “watching” porn while you are busy in the offices.

The same applies for other government vehicles we see parked in dingy places in the small hours of the morning.

They too have “hosted” porn-related “festivals”.

We know that some civil servants “fornicate for lunch”.

They stagger into their work stations after lunch pretending to have been running genuine errands when in fact they have been up to mischief.

If any civil servant utters a word to deny these truths Scrutator will publish the registration numbers of vehicles that have been turned into brothels on wheels.

She will not shirk from naming and shaming those civil servants.

W

hen she talked about bootlicking last week, Scrutator forgot to mention that even the small farming town of Ladybrand across the border has sycophants too.

The sickness called bootlicking knows no colour, nationality, sexual orientation, creed or profession.

C Dreyer, a lawyer from a firm in Ladybrand, this week found it prudent to issue a statement whose sole purpose seemed to have been to bootlick that tax dodger called Osman Moosa.

Dreyer licked, licked, licked and licked until even Moosa himself was annoyed.

It would have been better if the “licking” statement had not been written in mutilated English.

“In my personal opinion is Mr Moosa a person that to easily trust others,” said Dreyer towards the end of his error-laden statement which appeared in the Sunday Express as an advert.

Scrutator could not help but suspect that the barrister was singing for his supper.  It was as if he had written the statement while sitting on Moosa’s lap.

Scrutator hopes the lawyer still has something left of his tongue after such a long bootlicking session.

Still on sycophants, it saddens Scrutator to inform you that The Monitor, a paper that had perfected the art of praise singing the government, is no more or is about to go bust.

The government did not reciprocate the paper’s kowtowing antics with advertising support.

In the end it bootlicked until it suffocated.

 

L

astly, Scrutator was one of the many women who received awards from the LCD women’s league at a gala dinner last week to celebrate the African Women’s Month.

They said the award was for being a “brave and perspective columnist”. Phew!

From now onwards you must refer to Scrutator as an award-winning columnist.

Kekekekekekekeke!

Ache!

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