Steaming It Off
THERE are some real pains in the wrong end (of the human anatomy) out there, and what makes them “special” is the fact that they have somehow turned it into an art!
I am definite I do not stand alone when I say that there are some things that no matter how tolerable you may be you cannot stand, whatever the circumstance.
We all have our pet peeves and, yes, some are just a personal thing, but others are universal.
Unfortunately, some of the things that really annoy us are done by those close to us and you end up asking yourself: doesn’t this person realise that this is really annoying?
Have you ever stood, sat or been in close proximity to someone chewing gum?
Yeah, yeah, chewing gum is not really a bad thing but no matter how you may look at it that person making all those disgusting sounds while chewing this thing is really not my favourite person in the world.
When this happens, you get the urge to fish into your pocket and give the “chewer” cash — just to bail out the poor gum (and also to avoid any event of murdering that idiot).
Still on gum, don’t you just hate those people who leave their chewed pieces of the thing everywhere and anywhere?
My word, you sit down at a table, relax, then the next thing you are struggling with a gooey, ghastly stain on your favourite pants.
Just because some unthinking gum-chewing machine got tired of gnashing and was irresponsible enough to stick it to the next surface s/he could find?
Ma-a-a-n . . . those people just make my blood boil!
Then there are some people without an ounce of decency who may or may not be a notch above the gum-chewing culprits: they spit anywhere and everywhere!
Picture this: you are walking down our little, one and only street, minding your own business and you are just about to pass this person.
Obviously you will look at this human being because you have to pass him, right?
And guess what he does . . . he digs deep down into his chest, heaves and just delivers a big gob of slime right in front of you and passes just as if nothing has happened.
Really spitting should be outlawed.
Then there are the little cars we use on our travels every day in and around town that really know how to get onto one’s nerves.
I am not talking about your personal vehicle here but the public ones.
The drivers of these public means of transport seem to have a basic thing in common — somehow they have their fingers stuck on the car horns.
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a companion or on a phone while in town?
You just go mad.
And believe me they really don’t give a rat’s behind about you – they are just doing their job.
Look taxi man, I will definitely climb into your hackney cab when I have somewhere to go.
Killing my eardrums with your horn will not make me change my destination or mind — so enough already!
Wasn’t hooting against the law at some point?
On that note, I have a question for most of the “business” owners dotted around our town: who in the world put it into your heads that the louder your sound system the more customers you will get?
Believe me, you are driving off some potential profit with that racket!
Ever noticed the individual with the worst breath is the one who wants to talk the closest to your face?
I think we should all invest in real toothbrushes, not the type that has its bristles falling off when you put it through warm water.
Better still, always carry a box of mints or something (I know some will say that is why you chew gum — fine, but chew responsibly).
The odour issue encompasses body odour and smelly feet!
I have lied many times. And mostly it was to get out of some sort of bind or for some odd reason or another.
But really, have you ever met a habitual liar?
These types of people just make my blood boil (and I am not alone).
This character will lie to you about something you know for a fact.
They go to the extent of lying to you about an event which you personally witnessed or you told him about.
And when you confront them, they lie to cover their tracks.
One of my personal peeves is a full-grown man licking an ice-cream cone.
Have you seen that picture?
No, it does not look manly, believe me. Why not just buy a cup?
Then we find people who snore, bullies, friends who mooch, groupies, people who squabble over the bill and umbrella-toting males.
I could list many more piques, annoyances and stuff that will make you want to jump into a lake with frustration but, hey, maybe I might just start annoying you.
Just remember this: whatever you may think is normal may get onto someone’s nerves big time!