Santa’s present for General Lekhanya

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So Metsing Lekhanya, that 72-year-old former military ruler who has been clinging on to the leadership of the Basotho National Party (BNP) for more than a decade, has finally been given the boot.

It’s a Christmas present that he would certainly want to forget in haste. 

The boot might have been delayed but when it finally landed on the man’s old bones its blow was devastating.

Those who attended the party’s conference last Saturday told Scrutator that Lekhanya could just not believe that even people he had always thought to be his cronies couldn’t wait to see his back.

Overwhelmed by emotions that always come with such blatant acts of betrayal Lekhanya is said to have stormed out of the conference hall, leaving the determined delegates to decide his fate.

As he went out, Scrutator’s sources said Lekhanya told the national executive committee members that they should proceed carefully because he was capable of suing them blind.

So out of the hall, the old man limped with his “tail” firmly stuck right between his legs.

Once outside, away from the glare of his opponents who by now were sensing victory, the old man is said to have cried buckets of tears of sorrow.

And when he finally finished grieving, the source said, Lekhanya then ran around Maseru like a headless chicken looking for a lawyer to save him from the imminent joblessness.

He approached three advocates who told him that he needed to have his head examined first before he starts spending his hard-earned money on such a lost cause.

The source said one of the barristers laughed out loud when Lekhanya told him that he wanted to challenge his ouster because it was done at an “illegal” conference.

After that long chuckle the barrister, according to the source, asked Lekhanya which senior political leader had officially opened the conference that he was branding “illegal”.

“I did,” the former military ruler is said to have retorted.

Not amused by such rank hypocrisy, the barrister showed him the door.

Another lawyer is said to have asked Lekhanya how old he was?

And when Lekhanya said 72 the lawyer told him that he needed to consult a doctor instead.

NB: You may repeat these little anecdotes at your own risk because Scrutator will not vouch for their truthfulness.

Last night Lekhanya dispatched a statement to the media.

He signed the statement as “Outgoing Leader”.

How the mighty have fallen with a thud!

But Scrutator could not help but notice that the language in the statement sounded forced.

It was like Lekhanya had written the statement under coercion. 

Either that or he wrote the statement just when “nature was about to call”.

You know how people write when their bladders are just about to burst or their innards are just about to let go. 

“Despite reservations which I hold regarding some aspects of the proceedings of the conference, in particular the vote that was taken, I have after careful consideration decided to accept the outcome of the no-confidence vote,” Lekhanya said as if he had a choice in the first place.

Nxa!

“I am asking all the party members to accept the outcome in similar spirit,” he said.

He was clearly showing that he was oblivious to the fact that party members had held huge shindigs across the country to celebrate his defeat.

Beasts and goats were slaughtered to mark the end of the Lekhanya era.

While Lekhanya was busy writing that silly statement kids in the village were busy chasing around chickens in the villages because feasts to celebrate his demise were just about to start.

By the time he delivered that meek statement last night most of the people had finished belching and picking their teeth of the remnants of the feasts.

In the end nobody really cared how Lekhanya had taken the defeat. 

What mattered was that the old man was gone. He had no choice but to pack his bags and vamoose.

Lekhanya can however find some solace from the fact that he might soon not be the only 70-something-old politician without a job.

Elsewhere, another arrogant old man who runs the All But Commonsense party is likely to join him on the job market soon.

Thomas Thabane, a man whose political ideas are as old as the Cathedral along Kingsway Street, is also battling to keep the lid on the fomenting turmoil in his party. 

Soon that lid might become too hot to handle and the old man might just be forced to pack his bags like Lekhanya did.

Scrutator has no doubt that the duo will make good retirement buddies.

They will bask in the sun all day long and eulogise how they made life in this country hell when they were in the BNP government.

They could talk about how they helped the BNP government waste this country’s 16 years as it pursued power for the sake of power.

When they are finished with the 1970-1986 history Metsing can talk about how it felt to be part of a government that ran a country by the barrel of the gun (1986-1993).

Surely by the time they finish telling tales of those eras one of them would have been called yonder. 

There was a time when we would ride on donkeys to get to the next village.

Some still do that in the mountains.

Life goes on at a snail’s pace, with virtually no worries from troublesome bosses pestering anyone about deadlines.

There is tranquility of the grave in the mountains!

But things have been moving pretty fast down here in Maseru.

I see there are serious moves to haul the city into the 21st century.

Among these developments is that rolling escalator at the Pioneer Shopping Centre.

But like all things modern it has been both a source of pain and excitement to some of us.

The ways of the whiteman are quite strange, as my grandmother would say as we watched helicopters fly over our humble village in Qacha’s Nek. 

It is taking some of us ages to appreciate how these “people without knees” work.

That escalator has taken the city by storm.

Whole men and women just freeze the moment they step on that rolling machine.

Some have to be literally dragged to the escalator because they are just not used to those moving steps.

To them legs and not the steps walk.

Many a times Scrutator has watched as whole men conduct a referendum in their heads on whether to use the escalator or not.

More often the “NO” vote has carried the day.

The city has indeed come to Maseru!

Scrutator is feeling pretty sorry for that garrulous opposition MP who seems to have a problem keeping his mouth shut.

Libe Moremoholo, that’s the name of that motormouth from the ABC’s kindergarten.

Moremoholo this week received a shock gag order from parliament’s portfolio committee on ethics not to speak to the press and address parliament.

You talk too much my brother.

The sooner you stop being a blabbermouth, the better.

Perhaps if you shut your beak you will save enough energy for your brains to start working again.

Don’t miss Scrutator’s legendary Big Gong awards next week.

In the meantime have fun but be careful with whom you have it.

The world is still dangerous even during Christmas.

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