WHOEVER cobbled up the Education Bill (2009) must own up and take responsibility for the pandemonium that the proposed law has caused all over the country.
The Bill, if passed into law, will see parents who don’t send their children to school getting arrested or fined.
It’s meant specifically for those among us who think that educating a kid is a waste of time.
I mean those that see the imaginary warning “keep well away from children” every time they see a book.
This is the kind that this Bill is proposing to jail for two years.
Do I see such breed scaling mountains and crossing flooded rivers just to evade doing time?
Are some already hiding in the gullies?
Scrutator actually thinks this Bill has come too late when battalions of illiterates have already invaded every nook and cranny of the society.
If this Bill does not address how we will deal with the grown-ups among us who ran away from school before they could say “one plus one” then it’s as good as useless.
What do those pushing the Bill expect this country to do with truckloads of semi-illiterate journalists who have made it their day-job to jumble up copy mutilate English with shocking impunity?
For how long do they expect Scrutator to bellow about this ilk?
Just this week a whole newsroom connived to contaminate our clean street corners with yet another goofy headline.
“NUL students send packing,” screamed the cyber-one whose posters are always fortressed in iron safes as if someone ever threatened to correct those meaningless sentences which they have been calling headlines for ages.
I for one have had it up to the head and I think it’s high time we came up with laws such as the Education Bill to deal with them.
And I thought this scarcity of literate and articulate people was exclusive to our newspapers until I listened to Ultimate FM.
Of course the situation had always been bad but I think the mediocrity levels at that station have deteriorated thanks to the new breed of atrocious presenters they hired recently.
The pseudo presenter who was on air around midday on Monday afternoon made me realise that the Education Bill is probably targeting just a minute aspect of the problem.
Like a scratched vinyl record the pathetic presenter kept saying: “At this point in time. . .”
I listened to her tosh — including what she termed news headlines from around the world — for only 20 minutes but in that period I must have heard her say “at this point in time . . .” 10 times.
Why doesn’t DJ Waters ask his colleagues in parliament to include something for journalists and radio presenters in the Bill?
But journalism is not the only sector where the Bill will be useful.
What should we do with some of our MPs who can hardly spell their names under pressure?
Isn’t it charity begins at home?
So the Bill should compel some of these supposed lawmakers to go back to school so that they can attempt make meaningful contributions in the legislative chamber.
Of course there is a big possibility those MPs might not even notice such a clause and will obliviously pass the Bill into law.
I am told that most of them are so out of depth in parliament that some have spent all the sessions without saying a word for fear of exposing the emptiness of their heads.
For two years now, some have gone on voicemail every time they enter the august house.
Check the Hansard if you want to see what some of the empty vessels you elevated to a lawmaker by voting randomly.
Scrutator was at the weekend shocked to learn how a certain guy unscrewed his head in a vain attempt to evict a relative from “his” place.
Motlalentoa Qhesi, as reported by the Sunday Express, first gave Maleabua Qhesi, his cousin, notice to vacate the house bequeathed to him by his late parents.
When it appeared Maleabua was reluctant or unable to leave, Motlalentoa then hatched a master plan.
First, he removed the roof of the house.
Maleabua would not move.
Second, he pulled down the walls.
Maleabua would not move – she started sleeping under the table.
Then Motlalentoa struck again: he took away the table!
Maleabua and her son are now sleeping in the open.
“I am the inheritor. Everything belongs to me. I am not the one saying that . . . my mother said so,” Qhesi told the Sunday Express angrily.
See how people fight for things they never sweated for?
Surely his mother must be turning in her grave over the foolhardiness of her son.
Now Motlalentoa, instead of doing simple renovations to the apartment, will have to start building the house again from scratch.
Is this not the classic case of burning the whole house to catch a rat?